As a kid, I was always one of those overthinkers and very fearful of trying something new. Being out of control always has made me feel really nervous. Now I have a kid who’s identical to me, and I have a really hard time figuring out how to handle it and how to help a child with fear.
Today I’m going to be sharing some tips with you on helping your kids overcome fear. These tips have helped my kids through their fear, so hopefully, they will also benefit yours.
Validate Their Fear
The first tip I have for you on how to help a child with fear is to validate their fear. One of the most common problems we have as a parent is that we can’t truly understand their fear. Therefore we need to validate, acknowledge, and give attention to their fear, so they know we want to help them.
For example, if your kid says something is really scary, don’t reply with “this isn’t scary.” No matter how you feel, to them, it is still scary. Kids will begin to think that you don’t understand them or that you aren’t listening to them. Once your kid feels that way, it can then be a lot harder to regain their attention and also regain their trust.
I instead approach acknowledging their fear. “I understand how that can be scary, can you help explain it to me.” Talk it through with them and ask questions. This way, you can better understand what it is that is truly scary for them.
Once you can understand what's scaring them, you can then set them up to overcome it. You are being more effective in finding out how to help a child with fear.
Break Down the Fear
Once you better understand what’s scaring your child, you can then help them work through it by breaking it down. This way they can see themselves working to overcome it.
My son, for example, is sometimes very afraid of running rivers. The way I like to work with him to overcome it is I ask him, “do you think you can get to the next eddie? Do you think you can get to the next point or destination we’re trying to get to?” His answer is always yes, and with each and every yes, he gains more confidence, and in no time, I’m not having to ask the questions anymore.
Once you’ve broken everything down into tiny little baby steps, you’ll start to notice your kids gain a lot more confidence in what they’re doing. This is because they see themselves overcoming the challenge in front of them.
Only by overcoming their fears are your kids going to gain confidence in what they’re doing. As a parent, your job is to break down what it is that’s scaring them into tiny bite-sized pieces. This way they can gain their own confidence in overcoming the challenge.
Repetition
Another way to help your kids overcome fear is repetition. If your child only does something once a year, they won’t know what to expect, and most fear in kids is fear of the unknown.
You have to remember that when they’re doing these things, they haven’t had as much experience as you. Tthey don’t know what to expect, which will give them some anxiety, which then further leads to fear.
Try to find times when you can make something a little more repetitive. Go biking once a week, go hiking or kayaking once a month. Try to do that activity more often. Just like riding a bike, the more they do it, the easier it is for them to get back on.
Be Open Minded
You need to also make sure that you’re approaching their expectations and your expectations with an open mind.
We’re often surprised by our kids being afraid. We then push them or get frustrated ourselves is that our expectations of the day. The adventure gets in the way of us being able to parent them in the best way possible.
My expectation of the day is we’re going to have this beautiful day running the river. When either of my kids get scared, and it surprises me, and I become frustrated. I had already assumed how my day was going to go.
Frustration comes out when I’m trying to help him overcome his fear. When my kid senses that I'm frustrated, angry, or disappointed, it can really make the fear a lot bigger. The end result is that the experience as a whole not so positive.
Make sure that when you’re going into these things, that you remember that your kids are their own people. They’re going to have their own fears and their own expectations.
Wrapping Up
The overall goal is for us to have a great time with our kids in the outdoors. Make sure you remember that when you’re parenting them, lecturing them, or helping them overcome their fear. The goal is for everyone to have fun because that's what's going to make more adventures possible for you and your family in the future.
Every once in a while you tell your kids it’s okay, we don’t have to do that. It will make them more inclined to try other things moving forward because they will feel like they have a say.
If kids don’t feel like they have a say in what they do, the chances of them being enthusiastic about going on more adventures are slim, so by giving your kid a little bit of control in their decision-making, you will make them feel like they can decide whether or not to go on the adventure.
There is going to be some pushing, and you will have to push them outside of their comfort zone, but if they say yes to something that scares them, reward them. Offer the reward of hot chocolate, treats, a movie they’ve been dying to watch, or just anything that will get them excited and willing to step out of their comfort zone to try new things.
Camera: GoPro Hero 11
Sunglasses: Wiley X
Kayaks: Jackson Fun Kids Kayak
Life Vest: NRS Zen PFD
Bikes: Bosch E-Bikes
Be sure to follow us on our Great Family Adventure YouTube Channel. Please comment down below what other tips and tricks you’d like to know to help get your family enjoying the great outdoors.
Check out our previous article on one of the Best Family Adventure Vacations!
