Often, as parents or mothers, it can be hard to want to commit to going camping or adventuring as you’re already balancing so much with your own personal mental load. It’s no secret that being a parent is challenging. And there are so many different things you have to think about all of the time.
As parents, we don’t get a break. And there never really will be a break. So, how can we choose to do the hard things while trying to give ourselves a little time off at the same time? Well, here are my top tips for dealing with the mental load. So, hopefully, you can navigate parenthood without running yourself to the ground.
Schedule and Encourage Alone Time
My first tip is to schedule and encourage alone time for both you and your partner. Personally, my husband and I make sure that each of us gets time to disconnect during the day. We homeschool our kids, and we’re together all day, every day. So it’s really important to us that we each get time away.
Every single day, my husband encourages me to go out for a walk. And the reason is that during that time, I get to break free. On my walk, I am no longer taking full care of the children. And there is nothing that I need to be doing. That time is all about me and my own mental health. So, being able to go out and just be alone really brings down the mental load.
If you’re not scheduling time for the mental health of the parents, you’re going to feel overwhelmed 24/7. I know that if I don’t schedule my time on a daily basis, I burn out very quickly. And then I have a hard time saying yes to adventure because I've worn myself so thin.
Remember that you don’t just have to ask your significant other for help. You can ask friends, family members, or people that you think would be a good influence on your children. For us, as we travel a lot, it’s encouraged me to find a few close friends that my kids absolutely love.
I know I can ask these friends to take my kids to give my husband and me some alone time, helping the mental health of the parents. And I know that my kids are in good hands, they love the people that they’re with, and these people will be great influences on them.
Think About What Makes You Happy
My next tip is to think about what makes you happy. If you’re always doing things for another benefit, for example, if you’re only ever running or walking for the physical benefit and it’s not really filling up your cup, then you need to take a minute and think about what does fill up your cup.
Doing things that fill up your cup will make the mental load and everything else you’re trying to tackle feel a lot lighter because your cup is now at a point where you can give from it.
Over the years, I’ve learned that I need to make sure that I’m filling up my own cup first, as I can’t fill everyone up everyone else’s if mine isn’t already full.
Know That It’s Okay to be Overwhelmed
And my third and final tip for good mental health for parents, is to know that it’s okay to feel overwhelmed. It’s really easy to try to think about everything and hold everything at a level or a standard that’s very challenging. So, just recognizing this and recognizing that it’s okay that you’re struggling with it is really powerful.
Often, people don’t talk about their struggles. So you’re left thinking, how does everyone balance all of these things with their kids or their adventures? And I’m guilty of that, too. People often look at me and think she goes kayaking, she has a TV show, she does all these things; how is she not just burnt out every single evening?
Being able to vocalize how you’re feeling and communicate about it will let people know that you need help. If you don’t talk about your struggles, people won’t know that you’re struggling. And I’ve found that it’s very rare that help just comes to me.
Start by telling yourself that you need help and highlight the specific things you need help with. Then, when you know what you’re struggling with, you can start to seek the help you need.
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